Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Short Back And Sides For Me Please

Contributed by tedioustantrums

There are days when I hear something on the news and I wonder what’s going on. There have been several of those days recently. It wouldn’t be so bad if it was all on the same topic but it’s been items from all over the place.

Today's was BO (Barack Obama) telling the EU that their financial crisis should be addressed sooner rather than later. Really? This is a man who is convinced that throwing money at any problem is the way to go. Not to worry though, his days in office are numbered. What will the next occupant of the oval office do when they sit down at their new desk and BO has left a note saying – no cash left, ha, ha! They’ll reach for another note that’s been left by the Chinese saying – We own you, phone us when you get a moment as we have an offer you can’t refuse. What an interesting moment that will be. Bowel control will be all… at that moment to avoid an inelegant occurrence.

The EU is a big mess. Our politicians tell us we have to be in it and stay in it because it’s our biggest market. There isn’t going to be much of a market soon. We are in hock for as long as we can imagine. We can’t trade our way out because we don’t actually make much of anything these days. Just today three thousand people working in manufacturing won’t be anymore very soon. Although there are bright spots in UK manufacturing there are too few and they are too small.

No, the next biggest achievement that our great country (the UK) is going to take part in is hairdressing. I’ve always considered hairdressing to be a pretty safe job. I mean we all have hair, pretty much anyway, and it needs cut fairly often. So this could be a canny move. The pity of it is though not a single hair on a single head will even come close to a pair of scissors. No. This hairdressing is not for the faint hearted it’s for the con men and con ladies.

Apparently, the Greeks and some of the other Euro zone countries are going to have a haircut or a trim. This is the grand throwaway term for an orderly mass default. The figure being reported is between 30%-50% of debt will be written off. The banks will get burned but they will be able to use money provided by central banks so it won’t be a total loss. The Greeks and the other countries will be able to afford their hugely reduced debt burden and people can trade bits of paper for large wads of cash which they can spend on other bits of papers which they will sell to their mates until the music stops again. What a wizard wheeze! No one has tried that before. It’s bound to work. Of course it will. A man on the telly will tell us so. And we will believe him because he’s on the BBC and they know stuff.

Where will the Central Banks get the money? They’ll print more. There’s money to be made in printing money you know. Now there may be a slight surge in inflation. I say slight but it might be large, well it’s almost bound to be large isn’t it? I’m going to get an application in soon for 50% of my debt to be written off like that too. I’d encourage you to do the same. It’s a great idea. It’ll offset our inflation, we’ll have more money to spend and we’ll have more money for them to tax. Works for everyone really.

So BO, the EU has a plan. Many great minds came together to think this up including “Call me Dave” and trustworthy, confidence inspiring and man of the people George Osborne, that wee French guy and Anglia Meercat. The flashy Italian guy is with one of his nieces and the Spanish chap is a bit busy at the moment, he has to learn to do some really complicated juggling. The Irish guy has been keeping a low profile over the past week or so as he’s expecting a visit from a politician from Belfast. Can’t think why that would be worrisome. Can you?

Let’s get back to the normal quality news. Things like the world is going to end because a washed up American politician says the weather is a bit blowy and balmy, a Russian politician has had a face lift, a girlie, almost but not quite, celeb may well marry someone very rich, a lady has been to a wedding again and taken her very splendid bottom with her, Boris hasn’t been in the news for a couple of days.

A rare bird, generally called a Turkey, was thought to have suffered an unprecedented drop in their population numbers last November/December. However, the scientists who made this discovery are now saying the turkey isn’t as rare as it was thought to be. They have confirmed, after counting them again recently, that numbers have returned to previous levels although they have concerns that a similar drop in numbers may take place in November due to climate change. The scientists are asking for additional funds to carry out further research (and Christmas is coming and it’s an expensive time).

Now that is real journalism.


JRB said...

Whilst ‘Talking Turkeys’

You must watch Benjamin Zephaniah …

RMcGeddon said...

I bet you've never heard of Bryony Worthington. She's one of the reasons we'll spend £20Bn a year for the next 40 years on the global warming scam. And why 20% of our energy bills goes on useless windmills and wave power contraptions.

With our energy bills about to increase by 20% the govt will rake in an extra £200m in vat. Vat is at 5% on energy and some MP's have called for this to be reduced to 4%. Not realising that 5% is fixed by their puppet masters in the EU.

Apogee said...

Hi RM. You are right. I had not heard of her , but now I have, straight out of Uni and knows it all.Obviously not short of a few pennies to pay the heating bill....! One of the better excuses for closing Universities, to stop the total misuse of knowledge.And there are many more about.
I think it was the Chinese that decreed that all school leavers do a couple of years in the paddy fields planting rice, to get experience of life.Good idea.
Sign the petition to repeal the bill.

Joe Public said...

@ RM

You mean "Free Energy" costs us?

I'm really surprised!

Captain Ranty said...

Off topic-sorry.

Can any of you SNP'ers please tell me that you already knew McLeish gave all the oil & gas away in 1999?


J. R. Tomlin said...

Rosie, I can't argue that Obama isn't a hypocrite but if you are wishing any of the Republican lot on us, please think again. Take a good hard look at them and if your stomach isn't turned it's only because you won't have them making your laws. And stating publicly that they don't CARE if innocent people are executed. And that they have signed up for a witch hunt of LGBTs in government.

These are the same people who cheered while Halliburton made billions while a million people died in Iraq and are dying in Afghanistan.

We have gone very seriously wrong, and darn if I see the way out of the wilderness.

Tedious Tantrums said...

Very entertaining video JRB. Thanks

Tedious Tantrums said...

RMcG. I'd read something about it. Isn't it just wonderful that there is such a pool of talent for the government to draw from? Is there a similar pool of people who are actually of some use tho?

Probably not.


Tedious Tantrums said...

No one should hold any position in government without having had a real job and managerial experience.

I read it on a book and a Prof told me isn't the same thing at all Apogee.

Tedious Tantrums said...

Well JoeP there's a vicious rumour going around that those nove MP chaps and their officials perhaps tell the odd fib. Nothing serious. nothing that going to cost lives or billions of pounds and stuff like that.

You know how it is.

Tedious Tantrums said...

JRT. It is essential that the USA gets back to creating jobs and creating wealth. BO has had very few, if any successes.

The democrats aim to restart oil production which will provide cheapo energy which is the cornerstone of any economic growth. Why would BO be against this?

It's for the American people to decide. It will be interesting. All politicians are the same. We all know this

This a weekly guest post by Tedious tantrums not a piece by Subrosa.

Thanks for you comment tho.

Tedious Tantrums said...

CR. Off topic maybe but very, very interesting. This sound like a precis of the way Scotland has been sold out and manipulated by central government and their lackies in Scotland.

may those who knew about this, took part in it and then kept it secret reap the right rewards of their efforts.

The shame of it.

Thanks for this. I'm sure Subrosa will also comment and respond.

Captain Ranty said...



Although I am an Englishman, I would happily join you for the march south.

They take far too much. It needs to end.


subrosa said...

Ranty, the politically aware here have known about this for a few years now, yet our leaders do nothing. I've lobbied my 'representatives' and managed to get exactly nowhere.

Tedious Tantrums said...

Hey CR,

I'll give you the nod when we leave. I've no idea however, who we will be. Not many at the moment I date say.

Oh well. Let's keep blogging meantime!

Tedious Tantrums said...


I'd not heard about this but I don't go out much and I don't read the papers or listen to the news.

I'd quite like to lob my representative. Red might turn yellow at last!

subrosa said...

TT, I think we need a generational conference. :)

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