Sunday, 8 August 2010

Senior Dress Code


Many of us you 'Old Folks' (over 50) are quite confused today about how we should present ourselves. Feeling 'young' we try to conform to current fashions and present a youthful image.

Contrary to what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

6. Speedos and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots

11. Mini skirts and varicose veins

most importantly

At some point you have to give up the 'DAISY DUKE' shorts


Witterings From Witney said...

Cud have done without the photo SR - just had my lunch!

JJ said...

I’ve just given up ladies surgical support stockings…as a man they don’t quite cut it anymore.

But I may go back to ‘Big Pooh Nappy Bags’…just the thing for that inconvenient bowel movement when out dining. They can handle anything.

subrosa said...

So had I when my brother sent it to me yesterday WFW. Haven't eaten since. :)

subrosa said...

Ah JJ, they're marvellous aren't they? I use them for long car journeys too. Best things for avoiding having to take passengers.

Joe Public said...

A Tank Top with a Muffin Top are an unsightly combination, too.

subrosa said...

Awe Joe, I think I look great in mine!

Leg-iron said...

That's the antidote to porn, surely? I have jeans that aren't as baggy as that. Someone forgot to iron her legs before she went out.

I read today that celebs are now dying their hair grey. Which is wonderful news - at last, something about me is trendy and getting trendier every day! Better yet - I had grey hair before they did!

If 'shabby' becomes fashionable at the same time, I'll set up as a designer.

Conan the Librarian™ said...

Leg-iron your, ahem, helmet fascinates me; did you make it yourself, or is it some sort of fantasy production made by a renaissance faire yank?
I must admit, wearing it backwards foiled my internet research...

subrosa said...

Yes it is LegIron. Can't have folk relaxing too much on a Sunday afternoon.

I pay a fortune a few times a year to be ash blonde. Then I noticed early this year that I've no 'roots' at the front anymore. When I mentioned it to the hairdresser she said 'That's because you're white but you're darker at the back so still need highlights'.

Haven't yet quite worked out her logic. I can't see the back. :)

Billy Blofeld said...

Bikinis can be a bad look too......

subrosa said...

Jings Billy, you've done me a great favour. The diet stops right now!

Dave H said...

Do you have any of her in fishnets?

subrosa said...

Dave, are you a masochist?

Crinkly & Ragged Arsed Philosophers said...

I'm afraid I tick to many boxes after the 'ands'.

The minds cantering at forty but the body is galloping downhill on turbo mode - but oh the sweetness of banished vanity combined with the contentment of not giving a toss.

subrosa said...

Me too RA but the secret is never to look in a mirror. My philosophy is if you stick to a partner of your own generation they can't snigger.

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