Sunday, 8 August 2010

Obituary



An Obituary printed in the London Times - Interesting and sadly rather true.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly pupil, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a pupil but could not inform parents when a pupil became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense tool a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, by his daughter Responsibility and by his son Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers:

I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he had gone.

11 comments:

Witterings From Witney said...

I have seen various forms of this 'Obit' before SR, however you deserve thanks for repeating it.

This is something that should be forcibly rammed into the brains of our politicians, quangocrats, bureaucrats and all other 'crats' until it becomes second nature to them.

Joe Public said...

This ought to be required reading for all existing and aspiring politicians.

Antisthenes said...

This is the one occasion that I would like to believe in reincarnation, however sadly I do not, so "Common sense" is never to be reborn. It is truly dead and buried along with honesty and integrity.

subrosa said...

Aye WFW, I saw it a few years ago. A friend emailed it to me as a reminder the other day. Do you think he was trying to say something? ;)

Witterings From Witney said...

Problem is SR - as with all things ancient, including you and me - does anyone listen anymore?

Methinks the younger generation are, by and large, suffering from premature deafness.

subrosa said...

It ought to be Joe but even if it was hung on the wall in every one of their offices, they'd ignore it.

subrosa said...

Antisthenes, I never thought when I was young that I would be agreeing that common sense, honesty and integrity are dead and buried.

Where did we go wrong? Was it allowing the liberal left to take over?

Dioclese said...

You talk a great deal of sense. I shall add you to my blogroll immediately.

Stewart Cowan said...

And of course, it is all by design.

subrosa said...

Don't know about the sense Dioclese but thank you.

subrosa said...

Oh completely Stewart. Onwards to the completion of social engineering.

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