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Political map after May 2015
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12 comments:
I wonder who put it up for sale! I detect the whif of rolling tobacco!
Good one, very funny, lol!
Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
A: Because they are plugged into a genius.
Q: Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
A: They don’t have time.
Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
A: They won’t stop for directions.
Q: Why did God put men on earth?
A: Because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn.
Q: Why don’t women have men’s brains?
A: Because they don’t have penises to put them in.
Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
A: They’re intended for children, but it’s the men who usually end up playing with them.
Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.
Q: Why do men masturbate?
A: It’s sex with someone they love.
Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they won’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.
Q: Why did God make men before women?
A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.
Q: Why is a man’s pee yellow and his sperm white?
A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.
Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
A: Nobody knows, it hasn’t happened yet.
Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What men know about women.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner.
Q: What’s a man’s idea of foreplay?
A: A half hour of begging.
Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?
A: He’s breathing.
Q: What’s the difference between men and government bonds?
A: Government bonds mature.
Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
A: Take your foot off of his head.
Q: What do men an beer bottle have in common?
A: They are both empty from the head up.
Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: Who cares?
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don’t know. It’s never happened.
Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.
Q: What is a man’s idea of helping out with housework?
A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
Three women are walking through a forest in Donegal when a leprechaun leaps out.
- You can have three wishes, says the leprechaun.
- Each?
- No, just one each.
- I'd like to be ten times cleverer than I am, says the first woman
The leprechaun says something in gaelic, and the woman's eyes light up.
- I've suddenly understood Einstein's relativity! she cries.
- I'd like to be ten times cleverer than her, says the second woman.
Again the leprechaun mutters magical words in Irish, and the woman's eyes light up.
- I suddenly understand quantum mechanics! she cries.
- I'd like to be ten times cleverer than her, says the third woman.
- Are you sure? asks the leprechaun - you might not like it!
- I'm sure, she says.
So the leprechaun turns her into a man.
Vronsky
You Gonna enter a world of pain..so you are
You may be bang on Rab but it is on the button - especially since there are bids!
Thank you Barking Spider - wasn't me who discovered it though, was one of my readers.
Oh Niko, now I realise you're liberated!!
Many a true word said in jest Vronsky!!!!
Not from me Niko, Vronsky knows I'm not a feminist, at least by today's definition.
The problem lies with men Niko, think about it. :)
subrosa
Mind i spose at your age if you threw away your Bra ya tits would hang down to ya knees..
he he he he
its a man child thing vronsky understands
Niko, I have been told I have the bust of a 30 year old so I assure I don't have such problems.
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