The past couple of days I've been affected by the cold. After careful thought, I decided the virus had been passed by a 'discreet cougher'. Thinking back the past few days I recall asking friends, family and acquaintances various questions such as, "Don't you think I'm putting on weight?"; "Would you believe I'm 64?"; "Why can't I spend at least an hour doing reasonably heavy work in the garden?" and "I'll never have to give up driving like Mrs X". All these questions or statements were met by discreet coughs. You know the type of cough - the one we suddenly develop when we have a desire not to respond verbally. So the way I'm feeling at present is a few degrees below par and it must be the fault of a discreet cougher. I insist.
Not quite sure if this is a good idea when the cold has developed, but it's certainly entertainment for his dog.
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I think the Scottish cure for colds, advanced by Burns, was to go to bed with a candle and a bottle of whisky. Drink the whisky till you see three candles. Blow out the middle one and sleep.
In the morning, the cold will be the least of your worries.
It works, trust me. ;)
I know it works Dick, got the t-shirt. :)
Naw, I'll stick to the vitamin C cure and paraetemol tea. Too old to cope with spirit hangovers.
The secret is to get the body temperature up and support that heat. Bed, hot water bottles, NO Aspro but lashings of vitamin C enhanced drinks - blueberry is good!
Just about to have the night's dose of Vitamin C by way of a fizzing tablet Dram and the electric blanket is on and the heating just off, so seems like I'm on the right track. A sniff of menthol and steam and that'll be me until morning hopefully.
Many thanks for the advice.
Whisky works.
You'll still have a cold, but you won't care. Just keep the medication going until the cold has gone and you won't even remember being ill.
Nor indeed, much of anything else.
'Nightnurse' is still the best remedy. It knocks you out and while you're sleeping the paracetemol eases all the pain and stops you waking up.
'Starve a cold feed a flue' avoid contact with other humans a good excuse to clip that hedge rather than go to bed with a night nurse.
cynical said ...
" a good excuse to clip that hedge rather than go to bed with a night nurse."
I've bedded a few night nurses ( when I was younger) and it's much more fun than clipping a hedge. As long as the nurse doesn't scream 'windmills' or 'global warming' at the height of her passion ;)
Tried the whisky the night before LI. Think I'd rather keep it until I can enjoy it and not have the 'double' headache.
Better this morning. On the up I'm sure.
Gosh it's years since I tried that stuff RM. Trying to keep away from chemicals if I can avoid it.
Thankfully it's pouring rain here CH so the hedge clipping will have to wait another day. Actually I'd planned to get the shears on some overgrown shrubs today but thankfully nature has intervened. :)
I should hope you were younger RM. A man your age hanging around a nurses home could be suspicious these days. In fact a man hanging around anywhere seems to be suspect. What a country.
My experience is that such ailments are in the first instance caused by a lack of whisky. Reality certainly is.
'Experts say' that if you treat such ailments they will be cured in a week. Untreated they last 7 days.
Mark Twain's advice is probably best - 'Be careful about reading health books, you may die of a misprint'
RMcGeddon Oi!- do you mind Sir. My wife was a night nurse!
John..
Apologies Sir. I'm sure your wife wasn't one of my conquests ;)
Has she ever been to Dundee or Wolverhampton ?
Indeed Chuck. The internet has brought many to have a little knowledge which we're told is dangerous. The common cold, as you say, lasts 7 days or a week or according to others 14 days or 2 weeks. I can't afford that luxury so let's hope this is the 7 day affliction. :)
RM, stop digging while you're ahead. ;)
SR. Yes you're right. I will go and watch the pope on tv and seek some moral guidance ;)
It will stop me from posting some 'dark humour' on your latest 'Perspective' post.
Oh RM, a little dark humour is always appreciated. ;)
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