Thursday 14 May 2009

Are You Scottish?




Emailed from a friend.

Are you Scottish? You know you are a true Scot if:

Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, Sauchiehall St , St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.  Ye measure distance in minutes. Ye kin understaun' Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain family. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae swear wurds. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date. Ye've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, iron-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals.

Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these words;

clarty,    boggin,     cludgie,     get it up,     ye wee beasties,     amurny,
awa an bile yer heid,    peely-wally,     humphey backit,     Ba'-heid, dubble nugget.

29 comments:

McGonagall said...

Aye.

subrosa said...

Me too, but what's amurny?

Vronsky said...

I think I score 100%. The football score announced at my wedding was Scotland-England. We won 2-0 (18th May 1974).

Administrator said...

amurny = I am not.

wv caldi, which is what Scottish waters are all year round

brownlie said...

What ho, old bean,

I say, old girl (no offence), I've just realised I'm not Scottish and I've worn out Wiki trying to understand your posting. Do you know where I can get Morris Dancing lessons, jellied eels and the lyrics of Barmy Army?

Toodle pip and tally ho!

PS: I'm surprised you left out "furry boots" and "yahoorye".

brownlie said...

subrosa,

"Mantra" also appears to be another commonly used Scottish word!

The Last Of The Few said...

Anyone for an apperatif?

Buckfast all round chin chin!!

Malc said...

amurny = I haven't (I think). I'm not sure its a literal translation...

CrazyDaisy said...

I love Scots language - particularly Doric and I'm a huge fan of "Scotland the what?"

"far aboots is yer furry boots?"

"Fit fit de yi pit far fin yer kweets are yokey?"

"sharnydabs'ebourtiehillocko'bogbrae....mains!"

"keepinfuttrets'n i'nicht safe"

Have grand one madame, the rain it doth arriveth!

Crazy D

The Last Of The Few said...

Jafancya
Kidyegoah
Nahoosfara

Remember the Birds eye add with Stanly Baxter.

And one of all love sick teenagers
sheswantinoootwium

subrosa said...

There's always one isn't there Vronsky. I've been at two weddings when results were announced. Once it was an England/Scotland football match and another a rugby result.

They weren't my weddings either Vronsky, I've never gone in for feeding masses of friends :)

subrosa said...

Morning old boy, lovely morning for a stroll through the hills isn't it.

Auch eh cannae be scunnered daein ony accent ither thain ma ain.

subrosa said...

Thank you Monty for the translation. Indeed the waters are caldi but did you know that word means hot in Italian? Doubt if it's spelt the same way though.

RantinRab said...

A must be pure scottish n that cos a could unnerston evrihin ye sade. Am just in the hoose eftir the nicht shift n ma feet are pure gowpin. See the folk in ma scheme byraway, there aw pure heid the baws n that. Mad mental bampots so they ur.

RantinRab said...

And by the way, I can't understand the east coast wahoo accent!

subrosa said...

Oh LotF, I remember a Scotsman who was truly disgusting times and used his false teeth to describe aperitif or, as he pronounced it, aperoteeth. It was his party trick and he thought it so amusing. Lovely man though and a great businessman.

subrosa said...

Morning Malc, thanks. I just couldn't find it on google.

subrosa said...

Yoohoo Cd, fit like? My plumber is in Aberdeen today for some reason. I had to phone him earlier.

Useless information I know but thought it would make you feel less homesick. :)

The Big Dollop said...

Rosa, You ask the following question
-----------------------------------
" Are you Scottish"?
-----------------------------------
The only conceivable answer a true Scotsman could possibility give in response to it would be along the following lines

Yerdamtootinaumwumin

Just for the record - I consider myself to be British by Birth, American at Heart and Scottish by the Grace of God

Indy said...

Thing is all Scots aren’t the same. I remember campaigning with a particularly Doric SNP councillor in the Motherwell by-election. The locals could not understand him and he could not understand them. It was quite comical at times. There are regional variations within Scotland as well as between Scotland and other countries. Rab C Nesbitt would say 'byraway' but wouldn't say 'nicht'.

Amurny is weegie – as in are you going to do such and such a thing? No amurney - no I’m not.

Some things are universal. I am sure Irn Bru is a hangover cure wherever you live in Scotland or indeed the world and I know people get it shipped out to them specifically for that purpose. The only question I have is does anyone drink it without being hungover? Closely related to the question does anyone eat a doner kebab without being drunk?

The thing about measuring distances in minutes is also very Scottish. A French friend of mine used to moan about it all the time because he actually wanted to know how far point A was from point B not how long it took to get there.

subrosa said...

Whit's this aboot a wahoo east coast accent Rab?

subrosa said...

You must have at least an HNC in Scots LotF :)

subrosa said...

Indy I'm guilty of measuring distance by time instead of miles but it's obviously something I've done all my life. Another 'saying' which has been brought to my attention is "I'm away to my bed". It's never mattered where I am it's always "my bed" and you can imagine, when I was younger, it caused a few comments.

If Irn Brew was only sold for hangovers then, looking at the profits of Barrs, every Scot has a serious alcohol problem!

It's interesting to experience the small differences in Scots culture throughout the country. I love being a people watcher.

Vronsky said...

A couple of years ago I was hostelling in Spain. This hostel was posh - it gave breakfast: coffee and toast. I had two slices of toast and the Belgian lady at my side said 'Ah - you're Scottish'. Ah wiz dumfoonert. 'How do you know?' She explained:'I have only ever known one person who buttered all of his toast before eating any of it, and he was Scottish'.

CrazyDaisy said...

SR,

Yer right there madame

1 x Cappachino
2 x Cappachini

Parliamo (Italian) Glasgow (Baxter)!

Luverly luverly biscuits fae Simmers!

Oh the memories!

CD

subrosa said...

I'm dumbfootered too Vronsky. When a child in Dundee we had Stork and one slice of toast. If you were lucky enough to be offered marmalade then no Stork for you.

subrosa said...

Wunderful programme Parliamo Glesga CD. Happy days indeed.

Beautiful day again here, blue sky, sunshine, light breeze.

Craig said...

Subrosa

Did you notice Brown's really weird accent in PMQ's yesterday, particularly in repeated refs to a "Transpairent" system? He sounded completely false, like a drag queen doing Morningside.

Sadly I always look peely-wally.

subrosa said...

Hello Craig. Auch if ye eat mair greens, get oot in the beautiful sunshine for a wee while, smoke, drink and eat meat, ye'll no be peely-wally.

Actually I did notice his accent, but it's been drifting from an attempt at some kind of English accent to Bearsden or Morningside right enough.

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