Tuesday, 10 December 2013

A Wee Independence Poem

Independence? Naw, cannae say ah’ve approved,
An’ fae whit ah hear thir’s nae bluimin’ chance.
Passport checks at the border, an’ the pound removed?
At least that’s whit ah’ve picked up fae the Scotsman’s neutral stance.
Dinnae git me wrang, it’s aboot time tae be a better nation
But, tae be honest, ah’ve resigned masel tae the current stagnation:
Stuck in a Union o’ stale mediocrity forever.
Aye, wur ayewis better thegither.

“Yir too wee,” thuv telt us, ower an’ ower,
“Ye couldnae hack it if we went an’ set ye free.”
Aye, too stupit an’ weak tae wield oor ain power,
Huv ye no seen the latest oan the BBC?
Wur the world’s hypal, sure, jist nochtie and wabbit,
Oor fowk too thick and oor land too scabbit.
“It’s jist nae wirth the hassle, son, sic a risk isnae cliver!
”Aye, wur ayewis better thegither.

Ah’m no sae daft – ah git that London’s aw whit really maiters,
It’s where ye’ll fun yir unelected peers jist swannin’ aboot relaxin’.
The rich yins ur fir aw this government really caters,
And fae Polls tae Bedrooms, the current arrangement is taxin’.
But shuirlie it’s irrelevant if ah ken deep doon in ma hairt
That when it comes tae oor needs wur jist miles apairt?“
Yer the runt ay the litter, pal; best stey wae yer mither.
”Aye, wur ayewis better thegither.

Use oor riches an’ skills tae fight puirtith an’ hunger?
Build a fairer society where nukes ur banned?
Away! Oor tax will go tae fund the next war-monger
Voted intae Nummer Ten by a neibourin’ land.
Of course, ah hope wan day ma aspirations decide tae reappear
But aw ma self-belief’s been right duntit by tales o’ fear.
Jist when ah think ah’ve shrugged it aff, the Daily Record makes me quiver.
Aye, wur ayewis better thegither.

--Jason Henderson

Courtesy of a commenter in Och Aye The News Scotlandshire


JRB said...

Is it any wunner wur aw still ditherin an hummin and hawin on wit tae dae.

JimS said...

Wasn't the last London Warmonger Blair the Scot?

Wasn't the last London Spendthrift Brown the Scot.

Wasn't London Austerity introduced by David William Donald Cameron, son of the Ian Donald Cameron the Scot?

We are all in in together for certain.

Antisthenes said...

"Stuck in a Union o’ stale mediocrity forever"

If Scotland is suffering from mediocrity then they are not alone so is the rest of the UK. As I see socialism as the architect of all our woes then the blame must lie with the Scots. You are building a socialist utopia north of the border(good luck with that) and because of the influence of the number of left wing MPs you have at Westminster you are doing a very good job of exporting it to the rest of us.

JRB said...

Out of interest …

There are 650 Members of Parliament

Of all those, only 59 (9%) are from Scottish constituencies.
Made up of 41 (6%) Labour members, 11 (<2%) LibDems, 6 (<1%) SNP and 1 (0.1%) Conservative.

Oh to believe that that paltry 9% of Scottish MPs had ANY influence, let alone a socialist one … perhaps therein lies the very case for Independence.

Antisthenes said...

JRB. Your tractor stats leave out the fact that without Scotland's left wing MPs the Labour party would have not been in government as often as they have been and will not be in the future. Hence the damage that has been done by them in Scotland and the rest of the UK would not be nearly so bad and merit not mediocrity would still be predominant and Scotland would be happy to remain in the union.

Stewart Cowan said...

Whit we aw need tae unnerstaun,
Is that politics and badness go haun in haun.

So it maiters nae yin whit
For they're aw fu' o' hit
And miss notions and ideas
That would mak the toon loony look like he has mair atween his ears.

The "Scottish Mafia" coudna dae a thing richt fae Westminster,
Sae whit chance hae we Scots under a thrang o' brain-deid Labour an' Nat rogues posing as saviour?

An' to Brussels they'll aw doff thair bunnets,
For traitors abound like strawberries in punnets.

(That last bit of rhyming is sooooo tragically awful, I couldn't resist it.)

JRB said...

Oh wouldn’t it be grand
If aw the loonies in the land
Be it in Edinburgh or in London toun
Were shut up aw the gether

With aw that politicking done
Mebbe then we aw coud see
Theres naebody different frae you or me
Just proud Jock Thamson’s bairns aw the gether.

subrosa said...

I’m awry impressed with the standard of poetry provided here. Think they require a post of their own don’t you?

Thank you all for your contributions. Informative, expressive (dinae haud mi back kind of expressive) and excellent points as always.

Crinkly & Ragged Arsed Philosophers said...

It's now believed McGonagall suffered from autism!

Stewart Cowan said...

What's my excuse?

subrosa said...

Well, if you don’t know Stewart… :D

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