Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Retirement



Q:  How many days in a week?
A   6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Q   When is a retiree's bedtime?
A   Three hours after they fall asleep on the settee.

Q   What's retirees biggest gripe (apart from utility bills)?
A   There's not enough time to get everything done.

Q   Amongst retirees what is considered formal attire?
A   Tied shoes.

Q   What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
A   Nuts.

Q   Why are retirees so slow to clean out the attic or garage?
A   They know that as soon as they do one of their adult children will want to store stuff there.

Q   What do retirees call a long lunch?
A   Normal.

Q   Why does a retiree often say he/she doesn't miss work but misses the people they used to work with?
A   They're too polite to tell the truth.

The Senility Prayer

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

10 comments:

Joe Public said...

Every one a truism, Rosie.

Clarinda said...

Spot on!

Just to add that when I'm doing up those shoes - I like to see if there are any other things I could do at the same time while I'm down there anyway! There will come the day when bending down will be a distant memory of limber times?

JohnB said...

That Prayer is hilarious!

Regards

subrosa said...

Indeed Joe.

subrosa said...

The time is nearer for me than you Clarinda!

subrosa said...

And so apt - for me anyway JohnB. :)

Highland Cooncil said...

WAR DECLARED ON Highland Council

http://www.muirmatters.co.uk/war.html

subrosa said...

Thanks for the link HC. I think every council should have someone who publicly holds them to account like this site.

Crinkly & Ragged Arsed Philosophers said...

Rosa -re: The Senility Prayer.

After eyesight I would add - and memory....?

subrosa said...

Oh Crinkly, I could have spend days expanding the poem. :)

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