Q: How many days in a week?
A 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Q When is a retiree's bedtime?
A Three hours after they fall asleep on the settee.
Q What's retirees biggest gripe (apart from utility bills)?
A There's not enough time to get everything done.
Q Amongst retirees what is considered formal attire?
A Tied shoes.
Q What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Q Why are retirees so slow to clean out the attic or garage?
A They know that as soon as they do one of their adult children will want to store stuff there.
Q What do retirees call a long lunch?
Q Why does a retiree often say he/she doesn't miss work but misses the people they used to work with?
A They're too polite to tell the truth.
The Senility Prayer
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do
And the eyesight to tell the difference.