Monday, 22 November 2010
Knickers or Not?
I'm sure most of you have seen the above photograph. There's always one who doesn't get the message of how to sit isn't there? Even today so many pose (men and women) for photographs without the knowledge that we look slightly better with one foot in front of the other - instead of a military style stance such as above - yet we only remember once the shutter has shuttered. The kilted military appear to have been taught to pose knees akimbo but without instruction as to where to place the sporran - if the above photo is to be believed.
Kilt wearers are being pilloried. They're a filthy lot. Kilt hire companies are complaining that kilts are returned 'in such a dirty state that they were too unhygienic for staff to handle'. Tut tut. The Tartans Authority director Brian Wilson said kilt wearers should have the 'common sense' to realise they should wear underwear beneath our country's national dress.
Does it surprise me as a Scotswoman? Auch no. Men aren't known to use provided toilet paper to dry their willies or, in emergencies, other waste producing orifices. I include men from many cultures not just Scotsmen in that comment. But I admit the smell from kilts in my family is not that of human waste but beer that has missed the spot. Many kilts have had to be dry-cleaned because beer stiffens wool into a firm cement and makes them more or less unwearable.
All things considered I'm on the side of choice. If men prefer no knickers under their kilts then they should know not to use the metres of yarn as they would use torn up pieces of the local rag.
As for the kilt hirers, I suggest they are more thorough in examining returned kilts upon return and fine the offenders. A packet of these may emphasise the message and ensure the wearing of underwear in customers with less than perfect pelvic muscles.
I can't see men who have never worn knickers under their kilts being brow-beaten into changing. Can you?
Let's not discuss the perfume from sporrans...