Wednesday, 1 September 2010

Today's Non-Story



I am not arachnophobic but it would seem the wife of an Essex man may have a problem with spiders.

She noticed one behind the lavatory in their home on Monday and called her husband. Not being able to reach it, the husband decided to kill it by spraying it with a can.

However, he was unable to see whether it was dead because the bulb in the bathroom light had blown, so he used a cigarette lighter to illuminate the room. The result? Auch surely you can guess. You're right. He ignited the gas fumes from the aerosol and caused an explosion. The blast was so strong it blew him off his feet and lifted the loft door off its hinges.

He suffered flash burns to his head, legs and torso and was rushed by ambulance to hospital after dousing himself with cold water by jumping in the shower.

A firefighter spokesman added, " We're not entirely sure whether the spider got away or not but there was no sign of it at the scene." (I like his style).

You'll be pleased to know the spider-catcher was released from hospital in the early hours of Tuesday morning after treatment. What I'd like to know is how did his wife see the creature if there was no light in the bathroom?


28 comments:

Demetrius said...

I wonder which male deodorant he was using? The Essex girls I know would not bother with husbands, they would go in with a flame thrower.

subrosa said...

If I was his wife I'd make sure he didn't change the lightbulb Demetrius.

You do keep quite unusual company. ;)

Specky said...

I have three cat's which are excellent spider catchers ,they eat them too !

Mark MacLachlan said...

Spiders have the same MO as terrorists, they target innocent civilians, strike at random causing widespread disproportionate fear. I'd be happy if my tax dosh went on the War Against Spiders.

Retarded Essexites should be fed to the Taliban.

Derek Bennett EU-Sceptic said...

As an arachnaphobe, my missus can spot a spider at a thousand yards in any light. I was wondering if this chap now suffers from explosiaphobia!

Joe Public said...

Mark MacLachlan @ 16:45

"Retarded Essexites should be fed to the Taliban."

In the south west part of Essex, many residents may actually be the Taliban.

Macheath said...

JP, that's as may be, but in this case, our intrepid hero is from north-east Essex - or to be exact, Clacton, scene of a strangely high number of Darwin Award near misses.

Dramfineday said...

What a decent all round chap, leaping to his wife's defence with the latest technology - flamethrowers - may I, for his future safety, introduce him to the Hoover (or similar apparatus). The tube mechanism is very good at extracting spiders from difficult spots.

PS looking at the picture - what type of spider is that? Since I chucked out last years conkers, I've seen a few of these scuttling out from under the sky box - no it's nothing to do with my programme choice

cynicalHighlander said...

"PS looking at the picture - what type of spider is that?"

Black Widow!

Apogee said...

Hi SR, when I was a kid,and that was a long while ago, I can remember my father singing an old , I think music hall song about an intrepid idiot who went looking for a gas leak,with a box of matches. His fate was terminal.Your story brought back some memories. And proves that people never learn to think!

subrosa said...

And I'm quite sure you have enough sense not to use a lighter and an aerosol spray in a tiny space Specky.

subrosa said...

Oh Mark what a delightful comment. :)

subrosa said...

He certainly will be suffering from blister Derek. I don't know the latin name for them.

subrosa said...

Oh Joe, have you official stats for that comment?

subrosa said...

Dram, it was all done in the dark. He couldn't be arsed, oops I mean bothered to replace the light bulb. He'll remember in future.

subrosa said...

Is it CH? I don't know one from the other really. That one reminds me of oscar who runs regularly every evening over my living room only to tuck himself away under the skirting board.

subrosa said...

Aye Apogee, never ceases to amaze that elf and safety insist on all these warnings on everything and now we have so many people don't even bother to read them.

subrosa said...

Darwin awards near misses Macheath? Do explain, although I have a feeling I may know a little already deep in the recesses of my grey matter.

cynicalHighlander said...

They eat their mates after mating hence the chap attacked it with his can of Brute.

subrosa said...

Ah CH, I see. Do they still produce Brute? Well well. Mind you, if I remember, it had a far more pleasant perfume than some of the modern stuff.

Indyanhat said...

Darwin awards, are given to those who off themselves in new and imaginative ways, before adding to the gene pool Rosie.

Its a Wolf Spider, common and harmless...

subrosa said...

Ah Indayan, those Darwin Awards. I thought Macheath was referring to some award in connection with the bloke who walked into the sea on the south coast then popped up on a website advertising houses in Asia. :)

cynicalHighlander said...

Spoilsport.

http://severinghaus.org/gallery/nature/fauna/arthropoda/arachnida/P6104715_wolf_spider_unscaled_sm.jpg.html

subrosa said...

Maybe I could become an arachnophobe if I put my glasses on and examined 'Oscar' who treads my living room carpet most nights. :(

Indyanhat said...

Correction it is actually Tegenaria Duellica, the common house spider, Wolf spiders are a different family..my apologies!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_house_spider

subrosa said...

Indyan why can't it just be a spider, like the umpteen I have all over my outside windows. :)

I'm not rejecting your superior knowledge though.

brownlie said...

subrosa,

Has Niko changed his name to "Oscar"?

subrosa said...

I've heard he has several aliases Brownlie. ;)

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