Let me introduce you to Edinburgh airport's managing director Gordon Dewar. Pity he couldn't find an attractive tie to go with his rather well-cut suit.
That aside, Mr Dewar is the person responsible for proposing a fee of £1 for anyone dropping off passengers outside the terminal. He needs to generate revenue because there is a hole in the retail budget due to a drop in passengers. Fewer than forecast were flying and they were spending less.
The Scottish Government announced this week it did not support the charge and poor Mr Dewar is all of a dither now because he had expected ministers to remain neutral.
To add to the man's woes, it's recently be publicised that no other Scottish airport is considering this 'tax' on accessing the airport. Glasgow had recently redeveloped its forecourt and drop-off areas without introducing charges.
During a year I often collect or deliver friends or family to Edinburgh airport. It takes around 90 seconds to remove/place luggage in the boot and for my passengers to exit/enter the car. The drop-off/collect areas are heavily policed and drivers are carefully watched. Nowadays it's impossible to sit and wait for your passengers to appear from the terminal so drivers endlessly circuit the building until they do. Then it's a quick stop and off we go.
What Mr Dewar plans is unless you pay up, your passengers will have to walk a fair step to the Airport Hilton Hotel before they can be collected. Not easy if they've heavy luggage and are weary from a long-haul flight.
Perhaps Mr Dewar ought to look to providing more destinations rather than fleece his customer base for £1 a drop. I like to visit northern Spain and the nearest flight I can get is from Prestwick to Balbao. Only from Manchester can I fly direct to Santander which is the nearest airport to my destination and the flights are usually fully booked weeks in advance at any time of year. Very possibly there will be many other destinations which cannot be reached directly from Scotland without changing at one of the London airports - a nightmare which leaves me preferring to stay in Scotland.
Stop this silly idea now Mr Dewar. Oh, one part of his plan has yet to be made public. How much will the dropper-off/collector be fined if they don't pay the £1 charge?
On occasion I've used the excellent collect and drop chauffeur service when I've had heavy luggage. That is a service which collects your car at the drop-off point to save you the hassle of lugging suitcases onto long-stay car park transport. This charge could well affect this business but I doubt if that will concern Mr Dewar. He doesn't gain from it.