Wednesday, 10 March 2010

PMQs: The Verdict

Parliament, 1857: "Please Sir! I've made it nice and clean."

Brown = 5; Cameron = 5; Clegg = 5. Delicate flowers need not read further.

I don't think I can do it this week. I hold up my hands and admit that I dislike Brown (as you may have noticed) and just listening to him gives me a sick-to-the-pit-of-my-stomach feeling that I've never had before. I've always tried to put feelings aside and, whatever has happened in previous days, judge PMQs as a stand-alone. He is really trying my patience. He's such a lying, blustering
(intrans to speak in a boasting, angry or threatening way, often to hide fear) bombastic, fraudulent f/tard as he parrots the same lines ('the right thing to do' made yet another appearance) week in week out. His script-writers must be as p!ssed of as I am.

His MO is plain to see for anyone who cares to watch and there is a discernible pattern to it - pre- and post- Whelan, Campbell and Mandelson. I've been watching this treacherous b/stard for more years than is psychologically helpful and it's reached such a stage that I'd rather have Nick Clegg as PM than listen any more to the scripted and typed lines of Brown. The thought that some people might actually vote for the Labour Party in the upcoming GE just so they'll have to acknowledge and sort out their own mess, fills me with dread.

Videos will follow so you can make up your own minds.

We had the awful roll-call of remembrance plus a tribute to Michael Foot.

Benyon, Con, Newbury, a former Officer with the Green Jackets, had the first question: The Army Families Federation has carried out postal trials which show that the majority of the Armed Forces won't be able to vote in the GE. "Will the PM intervene to avoid "the perverse situation" where they are fighting abroad to give others the right to vote while being denied that right themselves?"

Brown: The Justice Secretary (gesturing to a bemused & blinking Straw) is making "the best arrangements possible so that every soldier and every member of the Armed Forces overseas ... will be able to cast their vote and I will personally write to him about all the arrangements that are being made. It is absolutely right that everyone should ha-ha-have the chance to cast their vote in every election."

Drew, Lab, Stroud, asked about Ashcroft. Brown denied he'd been involved in any investigation of Ashcroft. The Cons cried, "Shame!" and from that moment Labour b/benchers found their collective voice and found another use for their Order Papers rather than sticking them where they rightly belong.

Roaarr-aargh! (You have to remember that I'm watching this for the second time around).

Cameron associated himself first with the tribute to Foot and then to the soldiers who've died in the past week. He asked Brown about the Coroner's verdict yesterday. You really need to watch the videos for the exchange. Cameron was angry. I think he came into the Chamber having already decided to be angry and, in my book, he did very well indeed until he blotted his copybook right at the end when he half-smiled at Brown's comments and Brown turned and smiled at Darling.

Clegg also read out the names of the dead servicemen and Foot. NAO - led on crime - prisons as colleges of crime. Brown always treats the LibDem leader as an indulgent school-ma'am would treat a wayward and retarded child. (Am I still allowed to say that?)

Enough - these are my notes, make of them what you will and enjoy the videos:

Brown ran his finger along the lines and read his speech, head down and sotto voce.
Brown red-faced. Harman smirking and pointing. Darling subdued and old.
I-I-I. implied the Conservative Party weren't patriotic preferring to deflect the question back to Ashcroft.
Hain laughing like a drain.
Straw with a yellow flower in his buttonhole (?)
Khan, slumped and arms crossed.
Slurs & impugns integrity of others.
Bercow ineffective. Do Labour MPs think he owes them?
Lots of stomachs, of both sexes, overflowing waistbands on the Labour and LibDem benches.
Brown defended extended use of cctv and dna
A red-red robin redbreast asked about MumsNet (wtf?)
Mine-detection equipment - lessons have been learned.
Always accusing the Conservatives of being divisive, not being consensual or patriotic.
Anne Widdecombe has stepped into the 1960's with a wonderful Quant/Sassoon hairstyle
Brown should be afraid - he falls short and he's been uncovered.

There were some very good questions, angry exchanges and catcalls worthy of St Chav's Comprehensive. It was an interesting half-hour.

Cross posted from CallingEngland where you can see video footage of today's half-hour.


Catosays said...

Such language SR. One could almost be persuaded that you dislike our Fuhrer!

Cameron could certainly have done better.

How many open goals does he need?

WV...otory....honest, it was.

Mr. Mxyzptlk said...

Gordon as ever was wonderful just wonderful my fervent wish is for Gordon to be in office for many more years(and looking at the polls it just might happen)

Allan said...

Come off the fence and tell us what you really think... really with all this fence sitting...

Sounds like the phrase all heat and no light is applicable here.

Mr. Mxyzptlk said...

Dear Niko

The Times today carries an extensive analysis of a poll in the key marginal seats by Populus which puts Labour and the Tories neck and neck at 38 per cent. It is confirmation of a spate of recent articles that shows underlying the headlines the Tories have not sealed the deal with the electorate. It also excludes the 50 most marginal seats which are assumed to go Tory. But we know that the Unite membership in those 50 seats far exceeds the majority being defended. If it is game on in the 100 quoted, it must be battle joined in the 50 they have excluded.

This is all the more reason why we need to build on the momentum from last week's record number of calls made to Unite members in the key seats. There's another "Talk Thursday" this week and regional phone banks have been organised across the UK for this Saturday. Please get involved and make those "Two calls a day to keep the Tories away".

If you are unsure as to where your regional phone bank is this Saturday or are having problems gaining access to the virtual phone bank, please contact me or my colleague Andrew Brady at

All the best,

Charlie Whelan
Political Director

Goodnight Vienna said...

Dear Niko - you're delusional but thank you for the email, which I've lifted.

Cato/Allan, you're right - totally agree.

subrosa said...

Cato, it is a cross-post from Calling England. The language belongs to her. :)

subrosa said...

Ah Niko, I see the pills are working. Happy days to you!

subrosa said...

Allan, I didn't write this, as I said to Cato Calling England cross-posts it every week as I do to her with my FMQ posts.

subrosa said...

Two Calls a Day to Keep the Tories Away. Ha ha. Thank you Niko, that's worth a post on its own.

Mrs Rigby said...

Jack Straw's yellow flower?

I looked it up. International Womens Day

"Started as a Socialist political event"

Don't watch PMQs, can't bear it, but have commented about todays

subrosa said...

Hi Mrs Rigby. I watch it if I can because I'm a masochist I suppose. :)

Ah so that was the reason for the flower. I didn't see Harriet wearing one.

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