Returning to Civilian Life Is Not Easy

Today I met an old soldier, a veteran of WW2 and a gentleman. I shall call him Joe. He struggled to raise himself from his chair to greet me and I knew if I'd insisted he didn't bother, he would have been offended, so I smiled when he complained it was his dodgy hip causing his mobility problems and nothing to do with his age.

I've know Joe for some years; he is the father of a dear friend. His wife is a kind, caring person with a feisty personality which compliments his quiet demeanor. They make a remarkable team.

He's as sharp as a tack and misses little of importance. His enthusiasm for his computer is a delight to witness and he was proud to show me his numerous bookmarks with his favourite sites reporting matters connected with the war in Afghanistan.

Once he left the army, after serving 22 years, he studied to be an engineer and continued in that vocation until his retirement. He had little time for hobbies because he dedicated most of his spare time to helping soldiers who run into difficulties when they return to civilian life. It's true the military offer 'resettlement' courses but they are undertaken within a military environment and have no real connection with the 'outside'.

It's his opinion, with which I concur, that the lack of trust and respect in modern Britain gives some ex-military a sense of isolation. Marriages break up because the man of the house is now around every day and the wife can't cope, as she's so used to a relationship where she made the decisions as her husband was away for months on end. In work situations they can have difficulty handling 'office politics' as they've never experienced working with people who have different agendas. A soldier's life relies on the people around him as much as the love of his nearest and dearest. The people around him in turn rely upon him.

It's this unconditional respect and trust that most ex-military people miss. The comfort of being with others who understand working weeks on end without a break and home being a tent or a 2'6" bed, with enough space underneath to store a bag or two, plus a bedside locker if they're fortunate. The security of knowing at least one of your colleagues will recognise if you're off colour. The camaraderie, when words are sometimes unnecessary. All ex-service personnel miss that to some degree and some can be unfortunate and drift into a downward spiral of hopelessness.

Joe helped these men. He worked as a volunteer with a national organisation which helps ex-military personnel in time of need, but there were the odd ones who didn't benefit for one reason or another. He offered help and together with old colleagues, he raised money to help to improve the quality of their lives, provide friendship and most of all listen. We have organisations such as Combat Stress which gives professional help to those suffering from poor mental health. They don't use volunteers and the explanation given is 'May I explain that we are not allowed to use volunteers in our clinical operation for many reasons, the main one being client confidentiality.'

Joe knows that there will be many more ex-soldiers in need of help because of the pressure put upon our military in today's wars. I would like to know why Combat Stress feels client confidentiality is an issue with volunteers. Many volunteers who given their time to various charities would feel insulted if their ability to maintain client confidentiality was called into question. The likes of SSAFA (Soldier, Seaman and Air Force Association) would not survive without their vast pool of volunteers.

Combat Stress deals with serious mental health issues but at some time during recovery, a person may just require a reliable, friendly person to listen. They're missing a trick here with this excuse - there are many Joes who would be willing to offer help and completely free of charge too.

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