Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Alex Salmond Killed your Guinea Pig, Brown Tells Scots Children


I just had to reproduce this in full from the Daily Mash, the site which makes me smile every day. The post has been slightly amended as it was originally written when Tony Blair was PM. A warning of things to come from Iain Gray and his colleagues!


ALEX SALMOND KILLED YOUR GUINEA PIG, BROWN TELLS SCOTS CHILDRENPrintEmail this story

IN his final salvo of the election campaign Gordon Brown has accused SNP leader Alex Salmond of killing the guinea pigs of thousands of Scottish children.

Image
'Dead at the hands of a madman'
In a letter sent to every child under 12 in the country, the Prime Minister painted a gruesome picture of what life would be like under a Nationalist government.

"As you know the world is full of terrifying madmen who want to do you harm," wrote Brown. "But did you know that one of the worst madmen of all is living in the same country as you?"

The Prime Minister added: "Do you remember your guinea pig? Do you remember how much you loved it? And do you remember waking up one morning to discover that it had died, for no reason, during the night?

"The fact is, Alex Salmond, the leader of the SNP, crept into your house and strangled your guinea pig. And if your mummy and daddy vote for him, he'll kill your cat, your dog, your goldfish and your hamster, because he can't stop himself.

"Tell your mummy and daddy to vote Labour or you will scream and cry for weeks and weeks and weeks. Yours faithfully, Jimmy Brown, Prime Minister."

A Labour spokesman justified the hellish campaign message adding: "Little children need to understand that they will face years of heartbreak and trauma unless the Labour Party is dominating every aspect of their lives."


12 comments:

Dubbieside said...

Subrosa

In the Hootsman version of this story, Ian Gray said "this proves Alex Salmond is not fit to be First Minister, it should be me. Lord Foooksake said I feel sorry for people who do not drink, when they get up in the morning that is as good as they are going to feel all day.

Paul Martin commented "the SNP are in meltdown" and should not be allowed to stand in my daddys seat.

subrosa said...

I was emailed the link to this Dubbieside and I couldn't resist it after the news today about Ian Gray's desperation to have a fisty cuff session with Alex Salmond.

Thanks for your comment.

Jim Baxter said...

Ah, ah final salvo. Who hears that word any more. Final, I mean.

Yes, yes. Brow gathers strength. Takes another sip of cupasoop. What was I said the other day on Harris's site? Something about having to paint the barrels of the main armament. HMS Hood - underdefended - vulnerable to plunging fire - the battle of the Denmark Straits - reverie - reverie.

Thank cuff our military get nothing but the best from us now - thank fuck we don't give it all to the banks.

13th Spitfire said...

Classic, good stuff.

subrosa said...

Morning Jim. You're sounding low today. Cheer up a wee bit.

subrosa said...

Morning Spitfire. Classic right enough.
(I've left you a wee note on your blog).

Oldrightie said...

"Little children need to understand that they will face years of heartbreak and trauma unless the Labour Party is dominating every aspect of their lives."

Like Mummy and Daddy's lives are, by Jimmy Snot, South of The Border?

subrosa said...

Aye OR sadly. Have a look at Lobbydog and see what the chancers are up to today.

Jim Baxter said...

OK sweetie. Well spotted. I have had a few laughs now. The few that were to be had. Greedy and selfish but all things to those whose need is greatest.

wv: unhent. Hi Gordon.

subrosa said...

True Jim and I'm about to post a wee nursery rhyme for you. Sing along to the tune of Sing a Song of Sixpence if I remember correctly. :)

brownlie said...

subrosa,

In the latest version by Grahamski, Salmond ate the guinea-pig, and the dog, and the cat and the gold-fish and Daddy's golf club and Mummy's .....

WV is redrobs - he worked in the old Labour party with me.

subrosa said...

I suppose you can curry guinea pig brownlie ;)

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