Dear Mr. Darling,
Please find below my suggestion for fixing Britain 's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 20 million people over 50 in the work force. - Pay them £1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Twenty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new British CAR. Twenty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed. 4) They must send their kids to school / college /university - Crime rate fixed
5) Buy £50 of alcohol / tobacco a week there's your money back in duty / tax etc It can't get any easier than that!
Contributed by my reader Last of the Few
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17 comments:
I love it. More or less what I tried to say a year ago! An extra stipulation is that the capital is stored with a small local bank who loans a small amount to local, known, trusted businesses. Not exactly globalisation but......
Yes OR that would be a good addition. LotF will comment too I'm sure as its his letter.
You'd have some job on your hands stopping them all buggering off to live in the SW France though!
It's not a bad plan. Not bad at all. Also have special pubs for the over fifties only, including the staff, where we can all drink smoke our faces off. That should ease the burden on the state pension budget. Any increase to the NHS budget will be more than offset by the duty paid on the vices. I'd rather have ten years of well-funded rampant hedonism while I'm strong enough to enjoy it than thirty or more of poverty and increasing frailty.
LOL. Brilliant idea, but wouldn't it hack you off if you'd retired the week before they announced it!
What's hilarious is that it probably all adds up. Now if you could just stretch that million-pound retirement age down to forty...
Oh no Jim, Switzerland it would be for me!
Jim B, now that's my type of reckoning. Could work out rather nicely for all concerned.
Tris that doesn't apply to me because, although I've not applied for a bus pass, I'm already a woman of pleasure, oops leisure. Auch you know what I mean. :)
40 Mek? Jeez there's some who are still 'studying' at 40 these days.
Mek
I will crunch the numbers and let you know.
However I think you need to up your fags and single malt level for the 40-50 age range!!! Just to assist in the cash flow short term.
LOL
So Number 11 downing Street for me then.
Don't worry Mek, I've had more than my share of nicotine and Tio Pepe since I retired so I'm quite sure I could share my credit with you.
Absolutely cracking idea! Makes perfect sense, but then that would result in equality for people over 50 and that's the last thing the vestiges of Tony Blair's government want. They want the majority of the cash in the hands of a few.
Why do politicians have to abandon all common sense when they take office?
Aye Subrosa, from what I was reading on Spook's blog, pleasure sounds about right!!!!!
brilliant, subs!..you or your friend would make fine chancellors!..much better than badger arse.
Thanks SL, I hope Last of the Few reads your comment. I'm sure he will do.
Now now tris, I was joking, honest I was. :)
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