IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY
Sent to me by an Irish friend. Hope it makes you smile a little. The old ones are still the best!
Artery......................... The study of paintings.
Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria.
Barium........................ What doctors do when patients die.
Benign........................ What you be, after you be eight.
Caesarean Section....... A neighbourhood in Rome .
Catscan....................... Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize.................... Made eye contact with her.
Colic........................... A sheep dog.
Coma.......................... A punctuation mark.
Dilate......................... To live long.
Enema......................... Not a friend.
Fester.......................... Quicker than someone else.
Fibula.......................... A small lie.
Impotent..................... Distinguished, well known.
Labour Pain................. Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff............... A Doctor's cane.
Morbid........................ A higher offer..
Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates.
Node........................... I knew it.
Outpatient................... A person who has fainted.
Pelvis........................... Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative............. A letter carrier.
Recovery Room........... Place to do upholstery.
Rectum........................ Nearly killed him.
Secretion...................... Hiding something.
Tablet.......................... A small table..
Terminal Illness.......... Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour....................... One plus one more.
Urine........................... Opposite of you're out
That was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteComa and Tumour are probably the best ones.
You enjoyed it? Great. I did too. The Irish, like the Scots are good at laughing at themselves.
ReplyDeleteThis is so very good...ROTFLMAO
ReplyDeleteGreat..!
Favorite "Benign........................ What you be, after you be eight."
ReplyDeleteAre NHS managers still trying to stop Dr.s using secret acronyms on patients notes ? 'FEK' = "funny eyed kid"
A nice little break.
ReplyDeleteGood job I'm not easily offneded. ;)
ReplyDeleteI thought about you before I posted it Stephen. I knew you would cope :)
ReplyDeleteBanned have you ever read your notes? I was given mine to take to an appointment with the nurse but she was busy. So being nosey I had a look. What an eyeopener right enough. Sadly I didn't get further than a couple of pages. Maybe I'll apply to have a copy.
ReplyDelete