Sunday, 8 August 2010

Senior Dress Code



SENIOR DRESS CODE

Many of us you 'Old Folks' (over 50) are quite confused today about how we should present ourselves. Feeling 'young' we try to conform to current fashions and present a youthful image.

Contrary to what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

6. Speedos and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots

11. Mini skirts and varicose veins

And most importantly

At some point you have to give up the 'DAISY DUKE' shorts



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15 comments:

  1. Witterings from Witney8 August 2010 at 15:01

    Cud have done without the photo SR - just had my lunch!

    ReplyDelete
  2. JJ8 August 2010 at 15:18

    I’ve just given up ladies surgical support stockings…as a man they don’t quite cut it anymore.

    But I may go back to ‘Big Pooh Nappy Bags’…just the thing for that inconvenient bowel movement when out dining. They can handle anything.

    ReplyDelete
  3. subrosa8 August 2010 at 16:29

    So had I when my brother sent it to me yesterday WFW. Haven't eaten since. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. subrosa8 August 2010 at 16:31

    Ah JJ, they're marvellous aren't they? I use them for long car journeys too. Best things for avoiding having to take passengers.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Joe Public8 August 2010 at 19:58

    A Tank Top with a Muffin Top are an unsightly combination, too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. subrosa8 August 2010 at 22:02

    Awe Joe, I think I look great in mine!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Leg-iron9 August 2010 at 00:06

    That's the antidote to porn, surely? I have jeans that aren't as baggy as that. Someone forgot to iron her legs before she went out.

    I read today that celebs are now dying their hair grey. Which is wonderful news - at last, something about me is trendy and getting trendier every day! Better yet - I had grey hair before they did!

    If 'shabby' becomes fashionable at the same time, I'll set up as a designer.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Conan the Librarian™9 August 2010 at 00:41

    Leg-iron your, ahem, helmet fascinates me; did you make it yourself, or is it some sort of fantasy production made by a renaissance faire yank?
    I must admit, wearing it backwards foiled my internet research...

    ReplyDelete
  9. subrosa9 August 2010 at 00:47

    Yes it is LegIron. Can't have folk relaxing too much on a Sunday afternoon.

    I pay a fortune a few times a year to be ash blonde. Then I noticed early this year that I've no 'roots' at the front anymore. When I mentioned it to the hairdresser she said 'That's because you're white but you're darker at the back so still need highlights'.

    Haven't yet quite worked out her logic. I can't see the back. :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Billy Blofeld9 August 2010 at 10:08

    Bikinis can be a bad look too......

    ReplyDelete
  11. subrosa9 August 2010 at 11:25

    Jings Billy, you've done me a great favour. The diet stops right now!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dave H9 August 2010 at 15:30

    Do you have any of her in fishnets?

    ReplyDelete
  13. subrosa9 August 2010 at 15:35

    Dave, are you a masochist?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Crinkly & Ragged Arsed Philosophers9 August 2010 at 21:01

    I'm afraid I tick to many boxes after the 'ands'.

    The minds cantering at forty but the body is galloping downhill on turbo mode - but oh the sweetness of banished vanity combined with the contentment of not giving a toss.

    ReplyDelete
  15. subrosa9 August 2010 at 21:07

    Me too RA but the secret is never to look in a mirror. My philosophy is if you stick to a partner of your own generation they can't snigger.

    ReplyDelete

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